When my husband and I made the decision to separate and divorce we agreed we were going to be the couple that could do it the right way. What we hope for and what becomes reality can be quite different.
I’ve heard it said that whatever you are fighting about during your marriage is also what you fight about during the divorce. I had no idea just what a fight I was in for. We couldn’t agree on anything. Continue reading
Getting a divorce after 18 years of marriage and having two kids is not an easy thing to do.
And it hurts. A lot. For everyone involved.
For that reason, it was extremely important for us to try everything we could to repair our marriage. I’m proud of the fact that we tried to find the answers, for years. It was no easy decision to end it and wasn’t taken lightly by either of us. But once the decision was finally made, a new set of problems arose. Continue reading
Time for another video of my Let’s do this Together series.
Please excuse the bloopers, swear words and interruptions! All of my videos are from the first take and not edited. My goal is to just be me, and yes, sometimes I swear. I also intend to keep them short and sweet. But this one went from laughing to swearing to laughing to crying. What the heck?
When I started my blog in July of this year, I spent a lot of time looking for other midlife women who were a part of the blogging world.
I came upon a wonderful group called The Fierce Fifty, which I joined right away. There are so many fabulous women over 50 in the group that I felt I had found my people.
But then a funny thing happened.
How did you get your name?
I’m way, way down the list of a long line of kids my parents had. All of my siblings have common Irish names; Steve, Janet, John Henry, David, etc. There are also a lot of males in my family, so by the time my Mom was pregnant with me, she was ready for another girl. And she had the name picked out.
I discovered a wonderful post from Just Chillin with Carrie and Kat this week, and I’d like to share it with you.
They are also new to the blogging scene, but have quickly made a name for themselves. I love how they introduce their blog and invite us to join in:
“Welcome to Chillin With Carrie and Kat..Just like our name sounds please pull up a cozy chair, a blanket if it’s chilly or open the window if it’s a warm summer night and Chill with us. We will be offering tips and resources we have learned about being a Newbie Blogger. Reviews about wine, wineries and all things associated with wining and dining. Lastly, we will share our thoughts, desires, and discoveries about being Women who are hitting their Mid Life Stride.”
There is something wonderful about starting my day watching a sunrise. John and I like to get up early and head out to watch the sun light up the world. It is one of our favorite things to do. Sometimes we ride our bikes, and other times we are on the road. We’ve climbed to the top of El Toro many times to catch the fist light of day.
Sunrise from the top of El Toro
I’ve been called out a few times for sharing too much here on my blog. Every time this happens it shakes me slightly. I start to question my motives, and self-doubt creeps in. Which is interesting, because working through self-doubt is really why I’m doing this.
Most of my life I’ve been told to be quiet and keep my ‘dirty laundry’ hidden. Other people have told me how I should be acting, what I should be saying, how I am supposed to think, and even how I’m supposed to look.
In my last post, Change is in the Air, I left a question unanswered. In March of 1998 my husband of 17 years had just proposed to me…again.
When he asked me to marry him years ago, it was days after my brother’s death and I think he felt sorry for me. I was a mess and I can understand how difficult it must have been to see me like that. I said yes then, but all of those years later the answer was different.
I want to stay on the farm…at least in my memory. Continuing the story is going to be hard for me. There are things that I’m embarrassed about, or wish I would have done differently. And most of those happened after we sold the farm.
If you’ve been reading along, you already know my marriage was pretty rocky right from the start. I can’t pin point one thing or say I know exactly what happened, it was more of a chipping away. After many years of this, there was nothing left to save.
At least that’s how I felt about it. I know my husband felt differently.
I’ve always been more of the “destination” type of person versus the “journey” sort. I just want to get there, as fast as I can. I’m learning to change that slowly, partly thanks to my husband.
If there is a long way to get somewhere, he will find it. That man loves taking the back roads. Most times when we would get a chance to go visit our granddaughters, who lived about three and a half hours away, it would be a journey. A few times when my daughter in law would text me to find out our ETA, I would send back just two words “John’s driving”. She knew to tack an extra half hour on to our arrival time.
Do you have a story to share? My good friend, Anne from Soulmate Dance would love to hear your story and perhaps share it with others. Check out the details below and if you would like to participate, head over to Anne’s FaceBook page and let her know! (just click on the highlighted words to link you directly 😉 )
Shared from Soulmate Dance FaceBook page:
*** What’s Your Story? ***
“Soulmate Dance is looking for your midlife stories to share during our 30 Days of Love Celebration starting October 20.
My first job, at age 7, was planting and picking asparagus in Hart, Michigan. And it’s no wonder that was my first paying job…
Oceana County is the asparagus capital of the nation and home of the National Asparagus Festival.
Even though I toiled in the fields picking asparagus, I still love it to this day. One of my all time favorite veggies.
Now I live in California: Avocado country.
This weekend is the California Avocado Festival in Carpinteria, and we are heading there to enjoy the festivities, and eat avocado…everything!
Enjoy your Saturday! What are you up to today?
I could write a hundred different posts about our time on the farm. It was some of the best years of my life. But there were trials for me also. Finding and holding onto friendships in my 30’s was challenging and I lost a few friends along the way.
I read once that we tend to build friendships around our kids when we are new parents, and I can see that was true with me. But one of my friendships started the other way around. Shelly and I became friends first, which lead to our children becoming friends.
As with many families, we women lead the way in organizing family get-togethers and we all had a great time at barbecues, dinners and picnics. This went on for years, until one day it all stopped.
Thought I’d try something a little different. I recorded this yesterday because I knew it would take me awhile to figure out how to post it and share it with you!
I started the Fast Metabolism Diet on Monday. I can’t tell you it’s great or it works yet. But if you want to follow along, I’ll be posting a video once a week to let you know how it’s going.
I joined a gym and I’m working out too. Yeah, it’s time. I don’t normally like going to a gym. I’ve always stayed fit by riding my bike, or playing tennis…you know, doing something fun! But 58 is kicking my butt, so I’m fighting back. I started a NIA class and I have to say, I LOVE it.
Asking Google what NIA classes are: “Nia cardio-dance workouts combine 52 simple moves with dance arts, martial arts, and healing arts to get you fit in 60 minutes – body, mind, emotion, and spirit. Nia is non-impact, practiced barefoot, and adaptable to individual needs and abilities. Nia classes are taught by licensed Nia teachers.”
So join me if you want, or cheer me on if you can. I figured it’s more fun if we do this together. 😉
Do you have any habits in your life that do not serve you or your health?
I know I do. I’m working on changing a few. My morning routine has been one of getting up around 6 or 6:30, getting my big cup of coffee, with real cream and honey in it, and heading straight to my computer.
Hours later I’d realize I needed to find something to eat, or get out and go for a walk. I’d struggle throughout the day with this pull to get back to work on my blog or “building my platform”.
This last week has been a busy one for me. I decided to do a big push on my FaceBook Page and Instagram accounts to find more readers. There are lots of groups to help; like Bloggers Supporting Bloggers, and posse’s that help each other out.
I’ve mentioned before that I can get pretty focused when I set my mind to something. To the point of exhaustion…
I started last Sunday and by Thursday I hit the wall.
I felt sick, tired and so irritable! My body hurt from too much sitting. My mind was numb from too much screen time.
I went for a walk and thought if I put as much time and energy into exercise and health I’d be a fitness rock star.
I’m still trying to figure out why I do that, and I’m working on balance, and I’ll get there.
So yesterday I put it all away and went to the beach with my husband, and my son and his dog. This time of year is the best in Santa Barbara. The sun is warm, the water is warm, and the beaches aren’t crowded. It was wonderful.
And this morning, I woke up to this…
1000 Instagram Followers
46+ new FaceBook followers
413 Blog Subscribers
So I think I’ll relax a bit and focus on my blog, and my body next week. I’ve reached some milestones that I wanted to for my platform, and I’m happy about that, but it’s time to reach some for my body.
Have a great Saturday everyone. And Thank You from the bottom of my heart for all of your love and support!!
Have you ever been called upon to defend a friend’s character? This is a little different than my usual posts, but it’s important to me. And it needs to be shared.
This is an open letter about my friend, Estelle.