Looking on-line at other women’s blogs and social media, I’ve noticed that most are about fashion. At first I felt like I usually do – that I don’t fit in, and I should change what I’m doing.
Growing up in a small town in the mid-west, as a poor kid, I never really felt like I fit in anywhere. All the other kids seem to have very different lives than I did. In elementary school, I remember being embarrassed that all of my clothes were handmade.
One day in sixth grade stands out for me as a particularly humiliating day. That morning while getting dressed for school, I thought it would be a good idea to wear panty hose. They were in then, and I wanted to be in too. So I found a pair that was in my mom’s drawer and proudly pulled them on. I felt good, and like a grown up too.
Only I was in elementary school. With recess and a playground. And I was also a tomboy. It didn’t take long before those uncomfortable panty hose had several unsightly runs in them. And, boy did I get teased for that. I remember crouching down behind the side of the building crying, feeling like an ugly duckling.
I didn’t try to be fashionable again until I was in my 30’s. But I never found a style. So I just let it go. I had a farm back then and all I really needed was farm clothes. I remember one time when I was visiting a friend in the city, and she wanted to take me shopping. She said it was time to dress up the farm girl and by the time she was done, I looked pretty good. I felt like I fit in with the women around me.
As those few things wore out, I had no idea what to replace them with, so I went back to my plain farm look. Which apparently was t-shirts that were two sizes too big for me. My best friend finally took me shopping and found several very pretty well fitting tops for me.
Even now when I go clothes shopping, I need her to go with me and help me pick out what looks good. She usually finds things I would never try on my own. And as far as accessories go, I don’t have a clue at all. I think that’s why I still feel like I don’t fit in.
Looking at all the beautiful, fashionable women on line, I thought I should probably gear my blog a little more towards fashion. Then I looked down at what I was wearing and laughed.
I’m going to stick to what I’m doing and remember that I don’t need to wear panty hose again.