Some days, when I am writing my blog post, it’s a struggle to find the words and force them onto paper, so to speak. Other days I can’t type fast enough to get the words out, and the best are the days that I have a revelation about myself at the moment the words are forming.
It’s almost like some posts write themselves.
I’ve cried and smiled from some of the memories. I’ve worried over what I’ve written and been proud of my stories. I still have days of doubt about telling my story and sharing so much.
And then there are days like yesterday.
The first thing in the morning, a Facebook friend of mine posted the nicest thing about my blog and me on her page. I say Facebook friend, but really she was a classmate from high school. We didn’t know each other well back then, but have since reconnected.
She shouted praise for my blog in a sincere, kind post and it made me feel good and accepted.
Later in the afternoon when I was working on my Instagram account, I got a private message from someone I didn’t know. She said she found my story on my blog and hoped I didn’t mind if she featured it. My response was “which one, I have a bunch”.
She said she was posting it at that moment and to let her know if it was okay. I checked out her site and found she had over 390k followers. I was surprised and also honored, at first.
When I looked at the post she shared I was disappointed. She changed the story in her editing and it no longer felt like my story. When I told her about it and also that it didn’t turn out the way she had hoped, she deleted it.
In the few minutes that her post was up, it had almost 800 likes, and my account was getting a lot of attention. That all abruptly stopped when she deleted the post. I felt like I had missed an opportunity to reach more followers quickly, and falling back on self-doubt, thought that I had made a mistake.
I even told a couple of my people about my error, to which they all disagreed. As I thought about it, I realized they were right and it wasn’t a mistake at all. These are my stories to share. It felt wrong to have one co-opted and changed in order to meet someone else’s view of the world.
I’ve said before that my goal is to find readers who connect with my stories.
The day ended with another online message that reminded me of that. A friend’s mother posted that she was looking for the person who was “writing the countdown chapters”.
Now that is the kind of follower I’m looking for. And I’m okay if it’s just one at a time.