Starting a blog like this was not easy. It took me a while to come to terms with the idea of sharing truths and exposing myself. Everyday, I question myself asking, “What gives me the right to think I could do this and that anyone else would care?”
This morning I got a private message from an old high school friend. I do appreciate Facebook for giving me the chance to find old friends and connect on some level. I’ve been following her, and enjoy seeing how happy she is, and love reading what she shares. When I opened up the message, her first words were: “Dear Loretta, I thought I’d send you a private message because your blog hit me right in the heart! Right in the fat. Right on the thighs, ass and tummy! That said, I’d like to tell you MY story!
She went on to tell me about her life and that her first husband was verbally abusive. She was stressed, and unhappy and very thin. I was struck by her story because I didn’t know any of it prior to her message. She is clearly happy now, and it shows. She told me how after she remarried to a loving man, she too gained weight. It was great to read about what she did to get back into shape, and feel good about herself and her body.
But what hit me in the heart, was when she said she has been body shamed for being too thin, and for being built like a boy….
…ouch, I’ve done that 🙁
I have never said anything directly to anyone, but I’ve said it to myself, and others with me. “Wow, that woman has no curves, she looks like a boy”. Unfortunately, there’s probably a list of other shitty things I’ve said, that I could write here. Which really sucks.
Has it become so easy to judge others, that we don’t even realize it when we are doing it? I know my judgment comes from insecurity, so how do I stop it?
My friend said the best thing in her message….she said she has learned to LOVE her body and the way she looks. I know her to be non-judgmental, most likely because she has accepted herself. I better start working on that …
Thank you, my friend, for teaching me a valuable lesson.