Loretta's Countdown to 60

Aging on my terms - Daily musings in 500 words or so

Friends First

First dates are fun, and exciting – and nerve-wracking and scary. But I didn’t feel nervous or scared to meet John for our official first date. As a matter of fact, I think we went to see a movie.

Which is a weird thing to do on a first date.

It’s not like we would get a chance to talk and get to know each other. And, I don’t remember which movie we saw, but I do remember he ordered Raisinets.

Raisinets? Who orders Raisnets?

After the movie, we decided to go over to the pub I had mentioned and have a glass of wine. I’ll admit I was wondering how wine was going to taste after eating Raisnets.

We walked over to the pub, leaving our cars parked at the theater. Walking beside John, I noticed he had a bounce in his step – kind of like a kid does. Either this guy was young at heart, or just strange, I thought to myself.

We found a quiet table to sit at and ordered wine. Our conversation fell right back into the ease we felt the previous day. But after one glass of wine, John started turning on the charm.

He has the most amazing green eyes surrounded by dark lashes that give them a look of “guy liner”. Dang, he was handsome. I could sense a long line of women had fallen for those eyes, and before I even thought about it, I said…

“You can put those eyes away, John, you’re not coming home with me”.

He threw his head back and laughed and then settled into his seat. For some reason, that sentence helped him to relax and he was no longer a guy trying to pick up a girl, but rather someone just enjoying good company.

We talked about our lives and children and I could tell right away, John’s kids were everything to him. Some of the playboy façade fell away, and I could see a nice, easygoing man who had some hard knocks in life too.

It would be many more months before I figured out that playboy façade was what kept him at an arm’s length from women, and kept him from being hurt again.

When our evening was over, we said goodbye at our cars and headed our separate ways. I drove home feeling a little confused about just who this guy was.

He was an observer of human behavior – I could tell that by his writing. He was cavalier in a laid-back manner, yet extremely deep and complex too.

I did know that I wanted to get to know him, but I also knew I’d have to be careful with this one. I had no intentions of getting into a romantic relationship with someone who just wanted to date around.

So when he called a few days later to see how I was doing, I invited him to the Chef’s Market in Napa. He eagerly accepted and I packed us a light dinner to sit and enjoy the live music and people watching.

Later, when we came back to my house, John confessed that he was dating someone. I laughed and asked him what he was doing hanging out with me if he was already dating someone else.

He explained that he just started dating this woman, who lived at the beach hours from him , and it was very new. He said he didn’t see any reason why we couldn’t be friends too.

So we became friends.

And then I met another guy…

July 2011 – one of my profile pictures

8 Comments

  1. Wait, are you sure that’s what I did?

    🙂

  2. John, John, John *shakes head*.

    Friends is a bit of a loaded word in these sorts of relationships, isn’t it? And who is this ‘other guy’?

  3. Well I will make no judgement until I read John’s response…

    • Loretta Sayers
      Loretta Sayers

      2018-07-24 at 11:59

      Ha! Right?

      I’m glad things turned out the way they did….although the first year was a bit “unusual” 😉

  4. Oh goodness, he’s dating someone and then you met someone else…the story continues ♥

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