Loretta's Countdown to 60

Aging on my terms - Daily musings in 500 words or so

Looking back – a great way to see just how far I’ve come

I was looking back at old posts I’ve written and came across this one. It made me cry!

Wow, have I come a long way. I don’t feel anything like this now and I’m so happy that I “kicked out the old tenant”.

I wrote this in August of 2017. Since then I’ve lost 20 pounds but more importantly, learned so much about myself. This blog is exactly what I needed. (Thank you for supporting me with it, John).

Me and John Oct. 2018
(photo: goirishphotog)

I’m off today.

I don’t mean off from work, I mean off emotionally.

We had a busy weekend working on a home we own that’s about six hours away from us. Each time we have been between tenants, we would head to the house to clean and paint and kept it looking good. We had renters in it for the past couple of years, and since they are out, it was time to go get it ready to sell.

We arrived on Friday night and were immediately disappointed by the state of the house. We’ve had renters in it before that have left it dirty and in disrepair, but this time was different.

The house was, for lack of a better word, worn. It was like stepping inside a once beautiful masterpiece, that was now faded and torn and lacking any luster of it’s glory years. It was sad to see it like that, and it got us down.

We set up camp and after dinner sat on the porch like we used to.

We were pretty quiet and both knew we had a lot of work ahead of us.

So, we spent the weekend working hard, cleaning, painting, cutting down hedges and trimming trees. Sunday evening came way too quickly, and we ended up leaving much later than we’d hoped. It was nearly midnight by the time we arrived back home.

So, I knew I was going to be a little tired this morning, but didn’t expect to feel the way I did. I felt, worn, like that old house. And I started to question if maybe I was once a beautiful masterpiece that was now fading and lacking the luster of my glory years.

Will some paint and trim help bring back the old me or will I need a complete overhaul?

Spending the day thinking about it, I think the real answer lies with who has been living inside and taking care of me. Maybe it’s time to kick out the tenant who is letting me get run down, and rediscover that person who respects and cares for me before it’s too late.

I have a lot of work ahead of me.

 

10 Comments

  1. I’m so proud of you – these were profound words! I am so impressed with you! much love!

    • Loretta Sayers
      Loretta Sayers

      2018-10-30 at 10:05

      Thank you my sweet friend. It has been quite the journey! (so far). I so appreciate you and your support throughout! Xxxxx

  2. Awesome post. There are days when I think most women feel this way. “Worn” is a great word for it. I don’t want to be worn so I try my best to do things that make me feel new and fresh. Glad you have come so far!

    Kim

    • Loretta Sayers
      Loretta Sayers

      2018-10-30 at 10:08

      Thank you Kim. When I wrote that post, I had no idea where it was going. I just started writing about how I was feeling. It feels good to have come so far!

  3. I get this all the way. Lately, I feel like I have put so much out there and have gotten very little in return. Feeling very warn myself…

    • Loretta Sayers
      Loretta Sayers

      2018-10-30 at 10:10

      Rebecca, what a process this has been. I had no idea this would be the outcome of starting a blog. Lately I haven’t been writing as much, and I think it’s because I feel more content.

      I know you will find time for you and reap the rewards for putting so much out, my friend.

  4. Oh my heart! I am so sorry you felt that way and yet I know how many people… yes I believe both men and women feel this way! But you had a comeback, and in the process you breathed new life not only into your own heart and soul, but countless other women, including me. Thank you for sharing this incredible post. Thank you for the strength and courage to forge ahead and rediscover life! Following in your footsteps, love, Amy

    • Loretta Sayers
      Loretta Sayers

      2018-10-30 at 14:26

      Amy, you always have just the right words to say, my friend. Thank you!!

  5. Thought-provoking post. We were out of town mid-October and have struggled to get back to eating well and working out since we’ve been home. I keep saying tomorrow…tomorrow. Now I have just accepted that this will be a slow weekend and MONDAY we will get back on track.

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