Loretta's Countdown to 60

Aging on my terms - Daily musings in 500 words or so

Tag: love (page 2 of 5)

If the Truth Hurts Then Shouldn’t it Come With a Warning Label?

After John and I had our one and only romantic evening, he was still texting me and sending me his columns, but all of a sudden he didn’t have time to meet for coffee or play tennis or get together at all.

So I got busy with my own life and plans and let John figure out his own issues.

Column 22 – If the Truth Hurts Then Shouldn’t it Come With a Warning Label?

(One of the things Loretta and I had in common was our love of family – we sort of lived for our kids. Continue reading

Book Excerpt – November 2011 – When Sparks Fly

This is a book excerpt from November 2011. John and I had known each other for about five months at this point. Though we had started out as friends, we were now both single, and sparks were flying.

November 2011

One evening in November sitting together on Loretta’s deck, which overlooks a tree studded hillside, the conversation turned to personal matters. She told me of her life – and of how big a role her kids played in it. My stories paralleled hers as I told her how I wanted my life to look, and how important my kids were to me.

We’d been having these conversations for a while now – at least since September – and I think we were both getting the same sense from them. The one that tells you that, hey, there’s got to be a reason why this person always feels so comfortable to be around.

John was desperately trying to keep me at an arms distance, especially when it came to his heart.

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When “Just Friends” changes into something more

For those who have been following along on my blog you know when John and I first met, through online dating, we became “just friends”. We both started dating other people, but because of his columns that I was editing, we talked almost daily.

He would come over and sit on my deck and we’d talk for hours about our lives. We played tennis and met for coffee several times a week. We shared our stories with each other and helped each other through difficult breakups.

Just Friends

My favorite times together where when we sat on that deck and John talked about his childhood, his family and growing up. He had some of the funniest stories to share, and they found their way into his columns.

His readers loved it as much as I did. 

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Love Over 50

If you’ve been following my story, you know that I’ve finally found my person. It only took me 53 years and 4 husbands. From the time I was young, I could see myself with someone who understands me and likes me. As a person.

John is my best friend, husband, biggest fan and supporter, sounding board, Instagram photographer and my rock. And he knows I feel the same way about him. Being in love feels good.  Continue reading

Players Follow a Script – Just Makes Sure it’s Yours

John’s first column about Players…there would be more to come.

Players Follow a Script – Just Makes Sure it’s Yours

I was getting so many questions about ‘players’ I had to tackle the topic.

(And, I also wanted to get my thoughts on players across to Loretta).

I wanted women to worry less about whether he ‘is or isn’t’ and more about the part they play in the equation.

Here’s the truth: Women can be in control – for the most part – at the early stages of relationships because they have what we guys want. And I don’t mean just sex. Okay, I do mean sex – but I also mean what sex can lead to: A good, warm relationship with the right woman.

If you let us go too fast – like Betty – which we will do given the chance, the opportunity to slowly find out who each other is, and whether or not we fit, gets lost in the tussle.

If you just want a roll in the hay that’s fine – you go girl. But if you want more, then make him wait – like Loretta did.

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What the hell just happened?

In September 2011, John and I continued our friendship and tried to hold each other up while the people we were dating were letting us down. Here is an excerpt from his book, Romeo’s Dilemma, with some commentary from me.

September 2011 – Act 4

By now Loretta’s pilot had adopted a policy of radio silence – she was hearing from him less and less. You know the drill, where the guy who was once texting all the time now isn’t. I took that to mean someone else was now on his radar screen.

John was so right about this. Mike went cold on me so fast my head was spinning. He was still stringing me on though with lovely emails, but I was also getting the “I’m out of town, or busy” signal way too much. And I had no idea what in the hell happened.  Continue reading

Romeo, Romeo…

I left off with my story telling you I had met a guy named Mike, who I started dating just before leaving for Florida to help my son, and his family, move. When I returned home, Romeo had dialed up the charm a notch…or two.

I thought I’d share with you what John wrote about that time, with a little commentary from me.

Here is an excerpt from his book, Romeo’s Dilemma

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Flying high

My final trip to Florida to visit my son and his wife Amber was August of 2011. I picked that time to go for two reasons: One to help them move to Mississippi but more importantly, to meet my first grandchild.

In May of 2010 my son graduated from the Naval Academy and married his high school sweetheart the very next day. Then they started their lives together as a military family. By August of that year I was back to help them move to Florida, where my son would begin training as a pilot.  Continue reading

Weekend – time to reconnect

Relationships can become a little too much “business” at times. You know what I mean? We end up discussing our schedules, bills and finance, and ‘hey did you pay the renewal for the tags on the bike?’.

And before long it starts to feel a bit more like a business partnership than an intimate relationship.

I’ve even forgot to actually look at John. Not only what he’s wearing but actually look him in the eye. He’s just sort of an extension of life.

I don’t mean that in the way that may sound.  Continue reading

Summer Vacations from our Childhood

Did you ever spend summer vacations at your Grandparents house?

I never did. I mean, we went there to visit, but I don’t remember staying at their place for a week or even a few days without my parents.

We did, however, have fun during our summers growing up, and I loved it when we played Hide and Seek outside until way after sunset. And we always had a great time at the beach.  Continue reading

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

Here is the very first post John sent me to edit (his fourth). I’m pretty sure I am “Debi” and “Tracy”

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

“The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn.” -Gloria Steinem

Gloria wrote that in 1970, and while I’m not a fan of starting my words by using someone else’s (feels a bit like cheating) I really couldn’t put it any better. Women and men have learned to hold many misconceptions about each other – here’s a couple we’ll deal with this week:

Men think women don’t know what they want.

Women think men don’t mean what they say.

And often both sides don’t fully trust each other. Does it sometimes seem as though we are two different species, cohabitating out of necessity, and only really coming together to make more males for one side and more females for the other?

Though it appears that way, it’s just not the case – so let’s see if we can’t dispel some misconceptions… Continue reading

Introducing The Online Dating Coach

When John told me he was dating someone else, I wasn’t surprised. I could tell from our very first meeting at Starbucks that he’d been on many such meet and greets.

He was tall, dark and handsome, smart and witty. And I had been online dating long enough to know he was a rare find indeed. But just because he was one of few, that didn’t mean I wanted to jump into an intimate relationship with him.

So someone else did.

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The meet and greet

After I got back home from Pensacola I decided to get back on Match.com. Things were going good for me, and I wanted to find someone to play tennis with, ride bikes or go on hikes.

I dated a few guys here and there and even made a friend for life with one guy.

But for the most part, I went on a lot of disappointing “meet and greets”.

Continue reading

Dear friends,

I had a whirlwind weekend, which culminated with finishing up my post from yesterday. I’m miles from home right now, wondering just how I top that post!

I packed up my car on Friday and headed north to visit my best friend, and go to a bridal shower. It was such a fun weekend, filled with women and family. I felt so at home and surrounded by love.

Between the laughter and fun and lots of food, I found a few moments to put the finishing touches on my first blog anniversary post. I schedule my posts to go live at 7 am Pacific time each day to keep some consistency.

So yesterday morning, my post was published at it’s usual time and I headed out the door just after, to drive five hours to Oregon to finish helping my son get his house unpacked.

Five hours is a long time to leave that kind of post hanging out there for the world to see, and me to just wonder how it would be received. I’ll admit, when I stopped at Starbucks to grab my coconut milk latte, I took a peek at the response it was getting.

I held my breath and opened my phone, and saw hundreds of likes and responses and comments and I was overwhelmed.

Quickly scrolling through them, I felt a sense of relief from all of the support and love.

Yeah, there were a few negative ones too, but that’s to be expected. I even deleted a couple. But all and all, most people reacted with kindness and support and encouragement.

My husband is so proud of me and absolutely loved the post. He kept telling me I should boost it and promote the hell out of it. But he also knew I was driving and wouldn’t have a lot of time for that.

So he decided to do that for me.

The funny thing is, Facebook wouldn’t let him promote the post because of the photo. As you know, I’m sitting on a stool, with my laptop in my lap, and well, nothing else.

If you think about it, I’m covered more than if I were in a bikini, but Facebook didn’t see it that way, which made me laugh.

Oh well.

I’m okay with not boosting or promoting or getting it out there. You have seen it. My readers and faithful followers are the ones I wanted to share it with.

Thank you….for so much,

          Loretta

 

We did it together

Today’s “Let’s do this together video” features My John, because it just so happens to be the 7th anniversary of the day we met. We were both on Match.com years ago, and John saw my profile and sent me a message.

He has a way with words, and his profile was very well written, so I decided to meet him for coffee. That, and his photos were pretty handsome too.    Continue reading

How Not to Sweep a Girl off Her Feet

To say that John didn’t sweep me off my feet is an understatement…but, maybe that was a good thing?

Today’s post is from My John. I hope you enjoy it.

How Not to Sweep a Girl off Her Feet

Do you remember when the original Star Wars came out back in the 70’s?

To us kids it was amazing – we’d never seen anything like it. It was a seminal moment in our young lives that left a lasting impression. We talked about Obi Wan Kanobi, Luke, and Han Solo for years afterward.

So, Imagine my delight when the new batch of Star Wars films came out.  

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Excuse me, but do you validate? One of the side benefits of online dating.

Validation is so important to us all. When I first met John, he was The Online Dating Coach for a local paper. This was one of my all time favorite posts of his about online dating.

Excuse me, but do you validate?

I grew up a shy kid in a small town. I had my circle of friends I was comfortable with, but around anyone else I was usually pretty quiet.

When I joined the Air Force I got pushed out of my comfort zone – way out.

In the service you get thrown into a strange new environment with a bunch of guys from all over the country and are told to just work it out. So you do. This leads to all sorts of firsts. I even found myself volunteering for things I never would have tried back home. Continue reading

Wedding, wine and (hopefully) work

The day after our wedding, we packed up the car and drove south to wine country.

Being frugal (read: poor) we decided to camp in Napa Valley before my interview the following day.

As a wine lover, I was elated to see so many familiar names as we drove up Highway 29 towards St. Helena. We drove past Chandon, Cakebread, Turnbull, Beaulieu, Beringer, and so many more. I felt like a kid in a candy store. Continue reading

Out of the frying pan…

I moved to Bend, Oregon in 1978 and never dreamed that I’d end up staying for over 30 years. I was just 19 when I first arrived in that little town, and so much had changed over the years.

Especially me.

But by 2009, I couldn’t wait to leave. My kids were grown and off to start their own lives, my friendships had changed so much I could barely recognize them, and my business was no longer paying the bills.

It was time to move on.

Continue reading

Weekend – Beach life

I grew up on the beaches of Lake Michigan and I have been a beach lover ever since. It took me a few years, as in 30 plus, to move back to a beach town.

And I love it.

I grew up on a beach and it's in my soul

My beach town

Continue reading

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