As I stood on the deck holding my left hand, I could feel the void and knew what had happened. I also knew I couldn’t look at it. I just stood there trying to breathe through the burning pain I felt in my left thumb.
With my eyes squeezed shut, I kept saying out loud, “It burns! It burns”! Within seconds John was at my side talking to me and leading me into the house.
Grabbing a towel from the kitchen, he told me to turn away so he could see the extent of the injury. Talking in quiet, hushed tones, he assured me everything would be okay; but I had a hard time believing him in that moment.
John wrapped my hand with the towel and put an ice pack on it and told me he’d be right back. What was probably just a few minutes felt like an eternity; so I called out to John asking where he was. He came back into the house and said, “Looking for your thumb, honey.”
A while back, I shared a blog post called A Look Inside. I wrote about feeling off that day, and shared that I spent the day trying to understand why. I got a lot of very nice feedback on it, and several people shared some of their off moments with me too.
I like that so many people have commented and shown support. And I’m using several different platforms to share my blog, in hopes to reach people who can either relate, or just find my stories interesting.
I am also learning as I go, which is sort of the point of the blog. You know, reach 60 and be wise, healthy, happy and content. One thing I’m learning is that there is a bias towards sharing one emotion: Happiness.
I’ve had a lot of jobs in my life, and I can honestly say I believe I can do anything I put my mind to. John says I throw myself 100% into whatever I’m doing, and I have to agree with him.
But the best job I ever had is being a Mom. It is the most rewarding, and also the most challenging. When my first child was born, I thought I was going to take a few weeks off, and then go back to work.
But one night, when he was just a couple days old, as I was holding him and rocking him back to sleep I looked down at my beautiful little child. I knew in my heart there would be no way I could leave him and go back to my job.
This was my job now. I was 24 and my life changed forever in that moment.