Loretta's Countdown to 60

Aging on my terms - Daily musings in 500 words or so

Tag: relationships (page 1 of 5)

Flying high

My final trip to Florida to visit my son and his wife Amber was August of 2011. I picked that time to go for two reasons: One to help them move to Mississippi but more importantly, to meet my first grandchild.

In May of 2010 my son graduated from the Naval Academy and married his high school sweetheart the very next day. Then they started their lives together as a military family. By August of that year I was back to help them move to Florida, where my son would begin training as a pilot.  Continue reading

Weekend – time to reconnect

Relationships can become a little too much “business” at times. You know what I mean? We end up discussing our schedules, bills and finance, and ‘hey did you pay the renewal for the tags on the bike?’.

And before long it starts to feel a bit more like a business partnership than an intimate relationship.

I’ve even forgot to actually look at John. Not only what he’s wearing but actually look him in the eye. He’s just sort of an extension of life.

I don’t mean that in the way that may sound.  Continue reading

Great Expectations – Rating the Dating Sites

As I was busy dating someone else, and flying to Florida to meet my very first grandchild, John was dealing with his own emotions about dating.

After just a week of dating Betty from the coast, John told her he didn’t want to be in an exclusive relationship with her. He had told me that the minute he said yes to being a “boyfriend” he felt like an elephant had stepped on his chest.

So, while I was off getting to know my granddaughter and helping my son and daughter in law move, John was busy “Rating the Dating Sites”.  Continue reading

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

Here is the very first post John sent me to edit (his fourth). I’m pretty sure I am “Debi” and “Tracy”

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

“The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn.” -Gloria Steinem

Gloria wrote that in 1970, and while I’m not a fan of starting my words by using someone else’s (feels a bit like cheating) I really couldn’t put it any better. Women and men have learned to hold many misconceptions about each other – here’s a couple we’ll deal with this week:

Men think women don’t know what they want.

Women think men don’t mean what they say.

And often both sides don’t fully trust each other. Does it sometimes seem as though we are two different species, cohabitating out of necessity, and only really coming together to make more males for one side and more females for the other?

Though it appears that way, it’s just not the case – so let’s see if we can’t dispel some misconceptions… Continue reading

Introducing The Online Dating Coach

When John told me he was dating someone else, I wasn’t surprised. I could tell from our very first meeting at Starbucks that he’d been on many such meet and greets.

He was tall, dark and handsome, smart and witty. And I had been online dating long enough to know he was a rare find indeed. But just because he was one of few, that didn’t mean I wanted to jump into an intimate relationship with him.

So someone else did.

Continue reading

Friends First

First dates are fun, and exciting – and nerve-wracking and scary. But I didn’t feel nervous or scared to meet John for our official first date. As a matter of fact, I think we went to see a movie.

Which is a weird thing to do on a first date.

It’s not like we would get a chance to talk and get to know each other. And, I don’t remember which movie we saw, but I do remember he ordered Raisinets.

Raisinets? Who orders Raisnets?

Continue reading

The meet and greet

After I got back home from Pensacola I decided to get back on Match.com. Things were going good for me, and I wanted to find someone to play tennis with, ride bikes or go on hikes.

I dated a few guys here and there and even made a friend for life with one guy.

But for the most part, I went on a lot of disappointing “meet and greets”.

Continue reading

A job to do

I am a task-oriented person.

If a job needs to be done, I identify it, find a solution, and then go about getting it done.

It was easy to fix all of the things around me after Judd left. One by one, I got my life back and found peace in my little cottage by myself in Napa.

And as hard as it was, being by myself was exactly what I needed.

Working from home with no one else around, and living in an area where I had no family or friends created the perfect arena for some major reflection. But that’s not how I saw it at first.

I wasn’t just lonely – I was alone.

Continue reading

We did it together

Today’s “Let’s do this together video” features My John, because it just so happens to be the 7th anniversary of the day we met. We were both on Match.com years ago, and John saw my profile and sent me a message.

He has a way with words, and his profile was very well written, so I decided to meet him for coffee. That, and his photos were pretty handsome too.    Continue reading

How Not to Sweep a Girl off Her Feet

To say that John didn’t sweep me off my feet is an understatement…but, maybe that was a good thing?

Today’s post is from My John. I hope you enjoy it.

How Not to Sweep a Girl off Her Feet

Do you remember when the original Star Wars came out back in the 70’s?

To us kids it was amazing – we’d never seen anything like it. It was a seminal moment in our young lives that left a lasting impression. We talked about Obi Wan Kanobi, Luke, and Han Solo for years afterward.

So, Imagine my delight when the new batch of Star Wars films came out.  

Continue reading

I forgot my pillow

Sometimes when we travel, I like to bring my own pillow.

Silly, I know, but for whatever reason, it makes me feel comfortable. My pillows are all goose-down and super cozy, and I’m used to them.

Last week I jumped in the truck with my son, and we made our way to Oregon. I honestly wasn’t sure where I would be sleeping any given night, so I brought my favorite pillow along.

I’m glad I did too, because I used it when I came down with a head cold. That pillow was a soothing relief each night. Continue reading

Moving blues

Why is it that no matter how much stuff we have, it’s still too much? And how come moving is so stressful, even when it’s a move in the right direction?

Yesterday we spent the day packing up a trailer full of my son’s belongings so he could move to a different state. It was stressful.

Ed and his moving truck – 1920’s

Today, we are hitting the road to drive the truck and trailer to his new home. Continue reading

Just push off – part two

Learning how to push-off in other ways…

My best friend trusted me to take care of her dog, and I lost him. I was desperate to find him so I ran and ran calling out for Chico, but saw no sign of him anywhere.

By the time I got back to the house, I was exhausted and in tears. How in the world was I going to tell my best friend I lost her beloved Chico?

I called the local Humane Society to report him missing. Bella sat next to me, looking at me with her big eyes, as I called the radio stations and local newspaper. Then I printed up fliers to post and hand out.

By this time, it was dark out and all I could think of was how was he going to stay warm and dry that night. Had someone picked him up and was he safe inside? Continue reading

Just push off – part one

Learning how to push-off…

Our little cottage in Napa was so nice, nestled on a hill, covered in trees. But because of its location, I had terrible cell service at home. So during that summer when I was dealing with Judd’s bizarre behavior, I’d take my phone and go for walks.

I would call my best friend and talk things over with her and find support and encouragement from her. And then I’d just walk for miles and miles, thinking.

I’ve always loved to hike and there have been many times in my life that walking was the only thing that kept me going. This was one of those times. My youngest son was training for a marathon and encouraged me to try running.

I laughed and said I never saw myself as a runner.

Continue reading

Get a rhythm

Do I dare jinx it and say things are going well?

Finding my rhythm in life and work has helped me put all of the pieces together.

It took me a long time to find a diet that I felt good on. I’m thankful my daughter in law suggested the AIP diet, which lead me to discover a dairy intolerance.

And I’ve created a good balance between work and exercise and play, which has helped tremendously.

Last week I pulled another piece of the puzzle together and made sure to create a beautiful physical space to work in and relax and rejuvenate my soul.

Finding my rhythm

After almost a year of writing this blog, I finally found a rhythm that is working for me. I used to try to write, edit, find photos, and post all in the same day. The pressure would get to me, and I’d feel like I had to hurry to get a post in.

Well, that wasn’t very smart!

Things are going pretty good…there, I said it. And, yeah, it won’t stay this way, because it never does. But that’s okay. I’ll go with the flow and enjoy the ride just the same.

Thanks for your support and doing this with me!

Winter is coming – part two

I left off yesterday sharing my ordeal with a surgery and Judd’s lack of empathy.

This went on for all of June and July, while I was working full-time. In August,  I finally felt better physically, but things were still very strained between Judd and I.

With Mrs. S’s blessing for time off, I flew back to Maryland in early August to help my youngest son and new daughter-in-law move all of their belongings to Pensacola Florida. We had a fun trip caravanning across several states, and I loved helping them settle into their new home. Continue reading

Excuse me, but do you validate? One of the side benefits of online dating.

Validation is so important to us all. When I first met John, he was The Online Dating Coach for a local paper. This was one of my all time favorite posts of his about online dating.

Excuse me, but do you validate?

I grew up a shy kid in a small town. I had my circle of friends I was comfortable with, but around anyone else I was usually pretty quiet.

When I joined the Air Force I got pushed out of my comfort zone – way out.

In the service you get thrown into a strange new environment with a bunch of guys from all over the country and are told to just work it out. So you do. This leads to all sorts of firsts. I even found myself volunteering for things I never would have tried back home. Continue reading

Napa in the spring

Our first winter and spring  in Napa was so good.

We rode bikes and played tennis every chance we could. The construction on the house I was managing was coming along nicely, and everything was running smoothly. I was happy and content.

Bella went everywhere with me…and her favorite thing to do: bike rides

In October we helped my oldest son move to Santa Barbara, and while there, we camped at Carpinteria State Beach. The campground is right on the beach and we were both in heaven. Continue reading

I’m A Really Good Dad – Guest post by John Gavin

I told you My John is an author, right?

It’s kind of how we got to know each other. He wrote a weekly column for a Bay Area newspaper, and he’d send it to me first to edit. There were a couple of occasions when I did  guest posts for him, so I thought it might be nice to return the favor.

In honor of Father’s Day, I found this one he wrote in 2012 and dusted off the pages. I hope you enjoy it. Continue reading

When you don’t have a Plan B

I was going to start this post by saying, I couldn’t believe I was standing in a multi-million dollar home about to endure my third interview, but that’s not entirely true.

I could believe it.

From the moment I first saw the ad for the position on Craigslist, I knew this was going to be my job. I just needed to convince the impeccably dressed, statuesque woman shaking my hand, of that. Continue reading

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