The other day I wrote a reminder to myself (and other women) to put our oxygen masks on before assisting others. I got a lot of comments in the vein of: “I so need to remember this.” Or “Thank you for the reminder.”
Here we are, in midlife or later and we are still habitually putting the needs of others before our own. Well, at least some of the time, anyway.
It got me thinking about our roles as women and how we were raised to put others’ needs, especially men and our children, above our own. I see it all the time, and get a bit frustrated by it.
We not only do it to ourselves, but to other women as well.
For those who have been following along on my blog you know when John and I first met, through online dating, we became “just friends”. We both started dating other people, but because of his columns that I was editing, we talked almost daily.
He would come over and sit on my deck and we’d talk for hours about our lives. We played tennis and met for coffee several times a week. We shared our stories with each other and helped each other through difficult breakups.
My favorite times together where when we sat on that deck and John talked about his childhood, his family and growing up. He had some of the funniest stories to share, and they found their way into his columns.
His readers loved it as much as I did.
John’s first column about Players…there would be more to come.
Players Follow a Script – Just Makes Sure it’s Yours
I was getting so many questions about ‘players’ I had to tackle the topic.
(And, I also wanted to get my thoughts on players across to Loretta).
I wanted women to worry less about whether he ‘is or isn’t’ and more about the part they play in the equation.
Here’s the truth: Women can be in control – for the most part – at the early stages of relationships because they have what we guys want. And I don’t mean just sex. Okay, I do mean sex – but I also mean what sex can lead to: A good, warm relationship with the right woman.
If you let us go too fast – like Betty – which we will do given the chance, the opportunity to slowly find out who each other is, and whether or not we fit, gets lost in the tussle.
If you just want a roll in the hay that’s fine – you go girl. But if you want more, then make him wait – like Loretta did.
As I was busy dating someone else, and flying to Florida to meet my very first grandchild, John was dealing with his own emotions about dating.
After just a week of dating Betty from the coast, John told her he didn’t want to be in an exclusive relationship with her. He had told me that the minute he said yes to being a “boyfriend” he felt like an elephant had stepped on his chest.
So, while I was off getting to know my granddaughter and helping my son and daughter in law move, John was busy “Rating the Dating Sites”. Continue reading
I mentioned before that I was a manager for a Day Spa, right? It was a fun job and I had a lot of “perks” too. I got free manicures and pedicures, facials, haircuts and color, but best of all, my best friend worked there too.
She was a very successful permanent makeup artist with a lot of clients. She also spent many, many years learning about skin and skin care. When she learned about, and was trained in, skin needling, (micro-needling and collagen induction therapy), she told me about it and wanted me to try it.
I said No.
The day we arrived in Napa and started unpacking our U-Haul, I tripped over a big rock and hurt my leg pretty badly. I was a bloody mess.
Judd grabbed a lounge chair from the deck, and set it up so I had a place to prop my leg up and get some ice on it. It hurt a lot. But what was almost worse was, I was carrying my little Bella when it happened and she flew out of my arms and landed a few feet away. Continue reading
I moved to Bend, Oregon in 1978 and never dreamed that I’d end up staying for over 30 years. I was just 19 when I first arrived in that little town, and so much had changed over the years.
But by 2009, I couldn’t wait to leave. My kids were grown and off to start their own lives, my friendships had changed so much I could barely recognize them, and my business was no longer paying the bills.
It was time to move on.
A weekend to celebrate women!
We missed seeing my Mother-in-law on Mother’s Day last Sunday, so we thought we would extend the holiday to this weekend and make the trip north to take her out to dinner. A friend of mine shared on her Facebook that she had to work on Mother’s Day and would miss not only seeing her mother, but also celebrating with her kids.
Surviving a bankruptcy and losing my homes was not easy.
Even though I knew they were just “things” I was losing, it was still painful. But, I had a distraction through it all, which made it so much easier.
I met Judd in November, just before the holiday season, and he took me to one holiday party after another. He sold advertising for a local publishing company, and his job came with a lot of invitations.
We had a lot of fun, and I felt like Cinderella.
For Christmas he gave me a beautiful silver cuff bracelet that he had specially ordered for me. He said it was a Wonder Woman bracelet, because I reminded him of her.
My Wonder Woman bracelet
Several friends asked about my 59 years Bold t-shirt I was wearing yesterday on my birthday. Chico’s started a How Bold Are You challenge and the Forever Fierce community teamed up with them to create these very cool t-shirts.
I ordered mine here, and love it.
59 years bold!
Grab yours and let’s be bold together!
Thanks again for all the birthday love….you all rock. I’m very excited about this weekend’s celebration and I’ll be sure to share it with you too. 😉
How do you see yourself? Does it match what you see in the mirror or in photos?
Growing up in the ‘60s and ‘70s on the heels of the Twiggy movement, thin defined beauty. Growing into my body as a teenager and coming of age, I was super thin. And that image has stayed with me, even when the person staring back at me in the mirror has changed. Continue reading
I meant to get on today and talk about the Mediterranean Diet and how important it is to heart health.
Only the lady staring back at me in the camera was way too distracting!
Remember when I said I was fine dying my hair, thank you very much, and I didn’t have beautiful silver hair? Well, I’ve decided to embrace my gray, even if it is not silver.
Today, my hairdresser put in highlights where my gray is to help me transition to my natural color. And…she cut off at least 6″ of length too. Continue reading
I’m trying to write more of my story, but keep getting stuck. My mind is elsewhere.
I feel like I need a change.
Usually when I feel this way, I move the furniture around in the house. Or change-up the decorations. Sometimes I’ll get a new hairstyle to shake things up.
But, I just moved the furniture last month, so that is not going to help. And I have an appointment on Wednesday to make some changes to my hair. But, I’m not sure that’s going to fix this need for change I’m feeling. Continue reading
I have been super busy with family needs these last five days, and haven’t found the time to write. I got back home last night and this morning I’m working on catching up with a few things.
It’s interesting how life is filled up with busy moments and I get caught up in it all. Then something happens to remind me that it’s all just little stuff. It’s okay that I haven’t written here in a few days. And it’s even okay if I’m behind on a few reports due.
It is also okay that I take some “me time” to regroup and replenish.
It’s not all here!
If you haven’t already, please follow me on my Facebook page. I share different posts there and each Friday do a fun mind teaser. Continue reading
I will never forget the realtor that worked with my banks to ‘short sale’ my homes. She was a bitch.
Yep, I went there.
She treated me with such disrespect and down right contempt. I was already mortified and embarrassed, but this woman was actually enjoying kicking me while I was down.
And speaking of down, have you ever experienced bankruptcy? It is a life altering decision to make in the first place, but oh once the process starts you’re put into the “undesirable” category.
Which is where you will stay for at least 10 years.
Happy Wednesday everyone!
I had a great walk and talk today, chatting with my daughter-in-law, Amber. She lives a few hours away, so we chat on our phones while getting our steps in. We always have great conversations and she is such a wise women.
Do you eat when you are unhappy? Or are you like me and can’t seem to get food past your throat when you’re sad?
These last five years have been good for me. I am happy in my life right now, and it shows on the scale! Maybe I need to put a post-it note on the scale that says HAPPY and not worry about what the number says?
Have you ever cleaned houses for a living? It’s hard work. Really hard. But if you’re good, like I was, it pays pretty decent money. And now.
Only it doesn’t pay enough.
I couldn’t keep my head above water as an independent realtor any longer, so I moved my license from ReMax over to a smaller company that only took a portion of any commission I made.
It was a defeat, but one I had to accept.
2007 was just an all around crappy year for me. Being a realtor who owned two homes during the housing crisis was a double whammy and just about sent me off the deep end.
Not only was I losing my homes, but my income had plummeted. And if you don’t know how it works for a realtor, let me explain.
We pay for everything.