My oldest son graduated from high school in 2002. Which was the same year I got my real estate license, and the same year things started to change for me.
Recovering from divorce takes time, and money. I had spent the time healing from it, taking care not to drink or do anything destructive. That is except date a guy who was destructive.
How I missed the signs of emotional abuse from the beginning is beyond me.
He was an angry controlling man who lashed out at me and his daughter. What a complete mess I was in. I wrote before that it would take three events for me to finally break free of him. Continue reading
Have you ever associated an object with an emotion?
I hate desk calendars. I just recently bought one to pull the pages off and stick to the refrigerator. I thought it would be a good way to keep track of my schedule with diet and exercise.
But it didn’t take long to realize it was a source of contention for me. Let me back up and explain. Continue reading
When 2000 rolled around, I was a 40-year-old single mother of two teenage boys, starting over with no education or career. My job had been, stay-at-home mom, helper, maid, taxi service, farmer and wife for a lot of years. Starting over was not going to be a cakewalk.
At the time I thought 40 was old, or at the very least on the verge of old. I was embarrassed to be starting over at such a rip old age. Oh what I wouldn’t give to go back and tell that young lady a few things. Now I’m closing in on 60 and trying very hard not to see myself as old again.
starting over at age 40
Have you ever let someone else’s words dictate how you act, or react? I have. It’s not even a conscious thing, more of a subtle reflex really.
I denied that I have exercise-induced asthma for years. Partly because I try not to own a condition, like “I have asthma” or “I have ‘whatever’ ”. I don’t want it to define me. But another reason I ignored my asthma was because of what other people have said to me.
I’ve heard asthma described as a fake disease, or one that kids who need attention have. And I’ve heard this more than once, from several people. I wonder why that is? Why do some people decide that a condition is fake or nonsense? Continue reading
I love Thanksgiving week. Most people have a short workweek, and are planning menus and family get-togethers. I just finished my grocery shopping and bought way too much food for our small gathering on Thursday.
But I’m okay with having an abundance of food in the coffers. It makes me feel like I’m a good ‘provider’, having lots of food in the house. I’ve stepped up my exercise game so to speak, also. John and I have been walking at least 5 miles each day, and I’ve put in time at the gym too. Continue reading
I love all of the Thanksgiving posts that are flooding social media right now. I’ll admit I can be one of those people who get caught up in mainstream news, which brings me down pretty fast.
So it’s nice to see a few posts about food, and even more about gratitude. Thinking about this past year, I realize I have so much to be thankful for. And there is one person that has made this year possible for me.
My John. Continue reading
Authenticity is the new buzz word, and I believe a new online movement as well.
Last week, a woman I follow on social media posted a story and video of herself that completely changed my view of her. She is beautiful, stylish, upbeat and lives in a beach town. My view of her was, “how lucky”. I only saw one side of her, that is until after her video. Continue reading
…continued from Pieces of the Puzzle
After yesterdays post it took three siblings and me to piece together the sequence of events from that time. I was off by a year. The years following our mother’s death was a blur of disappointment.
But it was 3am Christmas morning, 1971 that our father called my sister Janet downstairs to take him to the hospital. She was just 16 and the only one at home with a driver’s license. Continue reading
I’m learning that my life is analogous to a big jigsaw puzzle. All of the pieces are there, but not together. And to make it even more difficult, I don’t have a picture to go off.
Photo courtesy of Hans Peter Gauster
You are helping me find the picture. Continue reading
I know I should be writing today’s post, and I even knew what I wanted to write, but I’m distracted. Partly emotionally, and partly because of working on travel arrangements for next month.
I’m not sure if it’s just me, or if you experience the same thing. This time of year can be a little difficult for me. Maybe it’s the shorter days, or the upcoming holidays that affect my mood. But today I’m not my usual chipper self. Continue reading
This weekend I shared that I worked the Military Ball event, here in Santa Barbara. I also shared that of all the things I’ve done, being an event planner and working events is my favorite job.
I’m not sure exactly why, but I like to try different careers. I’ve been a farm worker, waitress, secretary, telemarketer, daycare provider, phlebotomist, OR unit secretary, farmer, contractor, saddle maker, sales associate, spa manager, realtor, personal assistant, executive assistant, caretaker, event planner, vacation rental manager, estate manager, and blogger. Whew! Continue reading
Just before my 40th birthday, I got a job in sales for a local furniture/interior decorations store, in a big two story building in the heart of downtown Bend.
It was a bit surreal to be working downtown after all of these years. The last time I’d worked there, was in 1978 when I was 19. Part of starting over after a divorce is taking a step backwards. For me, this was a giant step backwards. Continue reading
I’ve written before that 1999 was a difficult year for me. I moved, divorced, lost friends, changed jobs, had surgery and turned 40. It was a big year.
When I moved from my farm into town I went from 20 acres, a 3,000 square foot home, a shop and barn, lots of animals and spectacular views, to a 900 square foot home on a tiny lot, a carport and one dog. We split the dogs up when we got a divorce, but the kids came with me.
So I learned how to share a bathroom with teenage boys, make the best of our small house and go for walks in the park that was just a block away. I was finding my way again in the world, and it was exciting and scary.
I learned about science as a kid, and sometimes first hand. We were that poor family who had old cars on our property and I would play in them at times. Like the old DeSoto that had a steering wheel so big I could sit in it and roll from side to side swinging myself about.
That old car also had a few things stored in it. There was an old musty army tent taking up the entire back seat, and one day it caught fire. The sun had hit the back window, which acted like a magnifying glass and set the tent to blaze.
Which almost happened to my face this morning. Continue reading
I am honored to be nominated for the 2017 Blogger Recognition Award from Jaimi of Pockets Full of Daisies.
Jaimi lives in Essex, England with her husband, 4-year old daughter Mia, their dog and three runner ducks! I was intrigued with the three ducks, so I checked her blog out. She writes about their family adventures, food, crafts, positive energy and spirituality. Check out her blog, there’s lots of fun projects and good information. Continue reading
My first pregnancy and delivery was so easy, right after my son was born my doctor told me he would like to say the second one would be easier, but it doesn’t get much easier than I had it. I was lucky for sure.
When my oldest son was two I was pregnant with my second baby. It was fun having a toddler asking questions and wondering what was going on with his mommy. I did my best to get him ready for what was about to happen, but I don’t think you can fully prepare a two and a half year old for a baby brother.
Because my fist son’s birthday was December 30th and so close to Christmas and New Year’s, we had a few friends suggest celebrating his birthday on his half birthday instead. June 30th.
That’s the day his brother was born. The minute that baby showed his face he had a smile. I don’t care what doctors or researchers say about a newborn not really smiling until they are 3 months old, that baby boy was smiling from the beginning. Continue reading
I absolutely loved every minute of being pregnant. It helped being 24, fit and in great health. I was ready to be a mom, and when the test came back positive, I was overjoyed.
A few people told me I was too young, but in my heart I was ready. I’d read all of the books and followed every instruction to take excellent care of my body.
The due date was set for January 10, 1984, but my little one was ready early. On the morning of December 30th, I knew I was going to meet my first child that day. As it turned out, my husband and I had sold a home two years prior and our taxes would be due in 1983 on the sale. Our son showed up in the nick of time for us to declare him as a dependent for that year, essentially cancelling out any owed taxes.
And that pretty much sums up our first son. He’s a bit of a rescuer. But I’m getting ahead of myself; let me back up a bit.
#beinthemoment #mindfulness #everpresent
I’m learning all about hashtags and applying them appropriately to my posts on Instagram. I spend a lot of time there. And on Facebook, making sure to #BeInTheMoment with my online gang.
And I’ve done a pretty good job building an online community with some cool people I wouldn’t have met if not for social media. I’ve said before that I can be very focused and I can certainly get that way on Instagram and FaceBook.
But you may not see as much of me in the coming week. While I can get focused with my online community….I will be even more so with two very special people in my life. Well, and their parents.
I hate that I don’t have a dishwasher. We live in a house that’s about 120 years old. It’s a Victorian that got converted into apartments years ago. Our place was the main living area of the house. There’s a big living room with large pocket doors to the now kitchen.
The kitchen was not the original and has this one tiny countertop with one sink in it. That’s it. I had to buy an island so I would have a surface to prepare food on. Oh, and the bathroom…it’s right next to that one sink.