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Aging on my terms - Daily musings in 500 words or so

The Worst Year of my Life – The Luckiest Person I Know

I will never forget the realtor that worked with my banks to ‘short sale’ my homes. She was a bitch.

Yep, I went there.

She treated me with such disrespect and down right contempt. I was already mortified and embarrassed, but this woman was actually enjoying kicking me while I was down.

And speaking of down, have you ever experienced bankruptcy? It is a life altering decision to make in the first place, but oh once the process starts you’re put into the “undesirable” category.

Which is where you will stay for at least 10 years.

Like I said before, 2007 sucked. I suffered one humiliation after another. I think the final straw was handing my keys over to that nasty woman while she looked through MY house to see that I hadn’t stolen anything.

I had sold most of my belongings and moved into a friend’s tiny, tiny rental downtown. This place was so small there was room for only one chair in the living room. I remember sitting on the floor of that living room, crying.

Talk about a giant step backwards.

One morning I walked out the door and headed into town. I kept my eyes fixed on the sidewalk, afraid to look up and see someone staring at me. It felt as if the entire world was ready to point a finger at me and shake their heads in disgust.

My oldest son called and said, “Come on Ma, I’ll take you to breakfast”, and I picked up the pace and walked to one of my favorite breakfast restaurants downtown.

We sat together chatting over eggs and coffee and I said to him with tears in my eyes, “This has been the worst year of my life.” And in the next instant, I started laughing.

My son touched my hand and looked at me with concern. He must have thought I’d lost it right there and then. Seeing the worry in his eyes I said, “If this is the worst year of my life, I am the luckiest person I know.”

And I meant it.

I lost things. Money was tight. But I had everything. I was healthy; my sons were healthy and happy. No one was injured or sick or dying or…. this list could go on an on.

I was the luckiest person I knew

Me and my sons during Spring Break 2007

I knew in that moment that there was nothing to cry about. Absolutely nothing.

A few days prior I had seen a film about children who live in dumps. It was heart wrenching and depressing on one level, but also incredibly uplifting on another. What struck me the most were photos of children smiling.

They lived in complete filth and poverty and yet found a way to be happy, even if just for moments. How could I sit there feeling sorry for myself when these children could have thrived on just a fraction of what I had?

It was time to stop feeling sorry for myself. Yes, this was still going to be difficult, but I now had a little bit of inner peace and strength I could draw upon to get me through this. After all, I was the luckiest person I knew.

12 Comments

  1. Only when we stop and count our blessings do we realize how truly rich we are.

  2. Love your positivity..x

  3. It’s so true, out of bad – good can come! or shine brighter. I’m so glad you saw that you were truly lucky to have love, family and health. Every since my son died, I’ve placed very little importance on stuff. I drive an 18 year old Jeep, my house isn’t decorated like a designer and I love the simplicity of it! I really don’t want for much…except clothes! ha!

    I love reading your blog. I’m on the edge of my seat!

    • Loretta Sayers
      Loretta Sayers

      2018-03-29 at 15:34

      Cindy, you have experienced more pain from loss than I have…and I’m sorry for that.

      You have an amazing outlook on life and I’m so happy we found each other here in cyber space!

  4. What a wonderful attitude. And you made it. You overcame.

    • Loretta Sayers
      Loretta Sayers

      2018-03-29 at 15:37

      Thank you Wendy…there’s still more heartache ahead, but eventually I found happy.

  5. I’ve been through a bankruptcy; it’s no picnic for sure…takes years to overcome and start over. But we did it and looked for the positives in the experience, and there were more than a few. The tough things in life really do make us stronger a well as help us appreciate the good stuff even more.

    • Loretta Sayers
      Loretta Sayers

      2018-03-30 at 12:35

      Thank you Candi…for reading and your comment.

      Bankruptcy was so hard – but as you said, it’s over and we lived and even thrived.

  6. Loretta,

    Another great blog! We choose our attitude every day! I completely agree that if we look we will find much to be happy about even in the most difficult of times!

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